Anyone who has enjoyed U14s-16s rugby won't need too much reminding of those semi-comical times when you were watching the opponents exit the dressing room and you suddenly caught sight of one particular player who forced you to perform a rapid double-take.
For a start - he's a foot taller than every other kid on the pitch. He has visibly defined pectorals and biceps. His voice is two octaves below the mean. But most noticeable of all - he's sporting the kind of co sandpaper stubble which is usually reserved for actors appearing in a Sergio Leone western. And he arrived at the clubhouse smoking a cigarette whilst riding a motorcycle with a blonde on the back.
His number says he's a "winger", but upon taking the ball from the kickoff, running into/over/through both props, performing a deft in-and-out on your hooker and then chipping over your fullback and winning the footrace to the line to score (with ease) - you have your doubts.
At the end of the game (in which he's scored two hat-tricks, kicked ten conversions and popped over a cheeky drop goal just for kicks) he accordingly attracted plenty of praise. But you'll also recall the heated enquiries made by club officials seeking to verify the kid's age. I can't speak for today but back in the 80s it seemed like every third club had its own "ringer". To be fair, these kids were in many cases legit. Whilst most people tend to physically mature in the early twenties there exist genuinely "freakish" youngsters with extraordinary physiques for their ages. Keiron Cunningham at age 17 had enormous thighs and currently young Savelio has the kind of shoulders which make Sam Burgess' look normal.
The point is - no one felt it was particularly special (never mind "fair" or "sporting"icon_wink.gif watching some "kid" who held a massive physical advantage trample over the opposition.
Fast forward to a a couple of weeks back and all the above was running through my mind as I witnessed Greg Inglis setting up his "wonder try" for Souths. Watching a full-back swat away/side step half a forward pack and then outpace half the back division to the hoots and the cheers of the ecstatic commentators who couldn't find enough superlatives I kind of wondered - am I the only person seeing the obvious parallel?
Understand, I'm not criticising Inglis. Even with his once-in-a-lifetime physique it still takes plenty of guts, hard work and determination to be a success in the NRL. But when I see seemingly intelligent people claiming he's "The Greatest" or "Better than Lockyer/Slater/Minicheillo already" I'm going to have to draw the line. I mean, those guys did what they did with the kind of physical attributes that to Greg Inglis would be a considerable physical handicap.
I feel that I am being unfair to Inglis by loading the deck so that no matter how well he plays he can never be the greatest. But I know I'm being similarly unfair acquiescing wordlessly as Clint Eastwood Jnr. runs in his second hatrick (leaving stud marks on the second row's face). Suffice to say that I will never again be able to watch Greg Inglis without wondering where he's stashed his bike, bird and smokes.