Seen that a few times over the years and quite few names that I remember from my lurking days.

It's not been updated for ages and I'm not in it so it's clearly rubbish my Brabus driving chum.

I have what I think is a generic Yorkshire accent, I was born in the west but moved to Aldbrough at ten months, the East Riding and particularly the Holderness accent is very distinct from the Hull accent. I've now lived back in West Yorkshire for longer than I lived in the East and as my Dad was from the West I always had a bit of a mix of the two.

I find accents fascinating, I worked in the Heavy Woollen area for a while and they completely had their own language. My Dad was from Keighley and he used to say that you could distinguish between different valley's form a persons accent.

You can also tell which Valley they're from by which colour paint has rubbed off onto their clothes from the sheep.

Shouldn't you be in bed?

Yeah, probably. Work at 5 innit.

Was just discussing the turnover of posters on a super secret RLfans splinter forum, t'other day. First time I saw that, a few years ago, it seemed slightly out of date, like:

Now it's more:

Wharfey.

You watching Master Chef?

Never been a big fan of Wareing but since he's grown a beard he's really gone up his own Iestyn.

I really think this recent pre cooked Bain-marie fad is awful, it's basically reheating stuff. He's right on the not vaporising elements of a dish but he's taking this to a third division Ferran Adria.

This isn't cooking and it's not molecular gastronomy, it's Wareing making up for his lack of talent, cashing in and being a cock.

I'm afraid I didn't take much notice of the food last night, got a bit side-tracked by the speech impediment of one young lad and the awful skin of the other. shallow I know but it was distracting. I like the confidence of young Oli.

All that sous vide is a way of semi- cooking loads of food and then just warming it through as the orders come in. Upmarket Bird's Eye Boil in the Bag.

Not a fan of Marcus Wareing, he ws just as critical to other big time chefs on 'Great British Menu', seems to think that running a kitchen in London indicates he's better than others. Is the beard there to distract from the strange hair?

All that throwing food away and having to start again doesn't happen unless it's really bad, not just because it's badly presented.

I met someone a few weeks ago who had actually eaten at Noma, he said it was alright but he said he needed a bacon sandwich when he got home.

I like Oli as well.

Sous vide has become massive and it's just wrong.

Some of my best friends have eaten at Noma, I think it depends if you like that sort of food or not, one of them loved it but then he also loved El Bulli, the other one wasn't so keen.

The nearest to that sort of thing I've come to is L'Enclume in Cartmel and to a lesser extent Hibiscus when it was in Ludlow. I like that sort of food theatre, but then I'm a pretentious pillock, Ms. Terrorist isn't that keen.

Off to The Ledbury on Saturday for friends fortieth. Excited.

It's that time of year when my favourite award is announced. The Literary Review's "Bad Sex In Fiction Award". This year won by Nancy Huston. www.independent.co.uk/voices/com ... 81962.html Some corkers in there, my favourite has to be this. The Quiddity of Will Self, by Sam Mills: “ … oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, Will, oh, yes, oh, semen-bedizened blood-pusillanimous bed onanistic quiddity fulcrating pelvic thrusts smoke thick typewriter’s click-clack-click Will Our Cock is Spent screaming loving Will is pleased Will is Saved I have done it I have done I am the Chosen One I am his Chosen One oh Will for ever I am yours for ever I am yours for ever I am.” Smashing!

It's that time of year when my favourite award is announced. The Literary Review's "Bad Sex In Fiction Award". This year won by Nancy Huston. www.independent.co.uk/voices/com ... 81962.html Some corkers in there, my favourite has to be this. The Quiddity of Will Self, by Sam Mills: “ … oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, Will, oh, yes, oh, semen-bedizened blood-pusillanimous bed onanistic quiddity fulcrating pelvic thrusts smoke thick typewriter’s click-clack-click Will Our Cock is Spent screaming loving Will is pleased Will is Saved I have done it I have done I am the Chosen One I am his Chosen One oh Will for ever I am yours for ever I am yours for ever I am.” Smashing!

Only Larndan was bombed during the blitz you know. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20637222

Only Larndan was bombed during the blitz you know. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20637222

How the hey did the bus driver manage not to see a hole that big.

just going to watch my daughters nativity play all her class are aliens whats all that about what happened to mary and joseph and kids badly dressed as animals

Well god was an alien and Jesus was a Human Alien hybrid. I thought everyone knew this?

I thought Justin MOrgan was god.

I am confused

And yet you hide it so well...

well i watched the play and still didnt see the point of the aliens who were just watching the birth of jesus plus mary was played by a boy and joseph by a girl dont get that either

My friends little girl was an alien too.
My eldest sons play was today, he was Father Christmas.

Without wishing to offend anyone with religious beliefs,one has to wonder how the conversation went when Mary found out she was pregnant.
Mary "Joseph,I am with child."
Joseph. "What!,how did that happen when I havn`t been near you?? Who is the father?"
Mary. "God."
Joseph."Ah,well thats alright then.Whats for tea?."

Edited for accuracy

My ruddy stockings keep falling down, it's driving me mad. Need one of thse proper hanger things rather than cellotape.

Are we all ready?

wouldnt a suspender belt work better than sellotape

Just spent ten minutes playing a massive hunting horn outside the local evagelical church. They love that, they think it's the trumpets of the revelation.

So, we've all survived the Apocalypse. Just Christmas to get through then.
Anyone got any exciting plans?

perv

It was like the apocalypse in morrisons in anlaby tonight bloody 170 quid spent on food why do we do it for two days holiday