...and I've now found the second email in my spam box - sodding computers!

badoom tssssh

Heard it from the Tealady's mouth herself that we will be boosting profitsnext year by upping the cost of tea by 25p. So as not to deter the punters however the 25p will be for the cost of the cup and you won't be told about it until after you have bought it. Not sure where she got the idea but it seems like a wizzard wheeze.

i also heard they are going to boost profits by using rain water for the stand roof

Nigel Wood stepped in and says we can only charge an extra 20p per cup so that it doesn't exceed 11.11111111%

HMRC have contacted the tealady asking if she has the returns for 2015 in her tea urn as nobody can find them

There has been a lot of speculation regarding where I get my info from and I can confirm that I am the Tealady's dad. I can also confirm that she has signed up for the forthcoming season (despite being on the brink of the first tea at Cas) although she will be using the Tesco Value brand.

She did indeed say she was happy to stay but now Andy Clarke has got her a deal with Sale Sharks. More money and she only has to make tea as brother Phil will make the coffee

Have to admire the tealadys resolve during these past few months.

Kept her head down and battled on.

Wonder what favours she did with the administrator to not be replaced by a vending machine

You did that last season with the beer in the Bar.

We wouldn't know. Bradford supporters drink in Cue Gardens. That's why we went bust, ask Marc Green

Marc Green wanted all his money back he spent on cups of tea for the last 2 years, Tealady said she had already spent it on a new handbag so that was that.
The Administrator had to confiscate the handbag and give it to the RFL as part of unpaid rent! Just go's to prove the the RFL are just a load of handbag swinging
(word deleted by the Mysterons to preserve RFL integrity )

I think the new owners ruled out the idea of a shiny, new vending machine, as being too expensive. They also tried to enter into negotiations with the water cooler but it has resolutely refused to speak. Though it did gurgle occasionally, and Google translate claims it said, "Tea tea, not mine water me not tea, burrp"

Instead, a new self service tea/coffee club has been initiated, whereby all staff, players and later, when the season starts, fans in the ground, must agree to pay 50p per week for the tea, coffee, sugar and leccy and everyone then takes it in turns, to be 'milk monitor' - by bringing some in each morning, or matchday, at their own expense, natch!

I think the most controversial aspect is that, even if you claim to not drink tea or coffee, you will [istill [/ibe expected to take your turn as milk monitor.

Just heard that the tea lady is in discussions with hull Kr. It seems the new owners want her to use a tea master to cut costs and so kr are swooping in despite having a full catering staff and 2 tea ladies already

I wasn't there when she last put the kettle on but I'm happy to field any questions you may have.

Are you related to the tea lady then? Coming on 'ere with your faux insider knowledge..

He was my tealady for a time.

Does this Tea Lady live at Mornington Crescent or is she related to Mrs Trellis of North Wales?

The RFL have just announced that the tea lady will be allowed to continue her association with the new Bradford club but in line with the other punishments handed out all cups of tea dispensed in future will contain 70% fewer tea leaves and you must provide your own cup and water. Milk is still under negotiation.

Did you get extras?

Chocolate finger.

I had the training, the skill and the natural aptitude for it. For instance I could put the kettle on, put the boiling water in the mug and then do something other than retire with the satisfaction of a job well done. I'd actually go back, put some milk in and then deliver it.

Not everyone on this thread has attained my skill level.

The tea lady resigned due to the terms of the contract offered conflicting with her political beliefs. She was offered shares and as a life long socialist declined as " all proper tea is theft"
Remember women are like tea bags you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.