My old boss from Texas always says; 'Time flies when you're drunk as hell..'

Not sure, but he may have stolen that from the TV series, Dallas.

Rule of the 3 Fs:

If it flies, floats or does something else beginning with F, rent it. Don't buy it.

When standing at a bar in a crowd of other people all waiting to be served, you have but two chances to catch the bar tenders eye, after that he thinks you're just standing there and you become invisible to him.

Life experience #42

Never take sleeping pills and laxatives before you go to bed

When gambling: always walk away after a win.

When something/one es you off: if it won't matter in a month's time, don't stress it.

When drinking in rounds: never get the first round.

Never buy fish and chips from a shop that sells anything other than fish and chips

Never spend more than you earn.

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
― Sun Tzu

My personal experience is to avoid office workers who have Sun Tzu quotes on their desk etc.

Usually it means they are a t055'r

(although i do quite like the above one)

You should have sent this bit of wisdom to Gordon Brown

You can't polish a turd.

That is very good advice, both metaphorically and literally, you absolutely cannot.

That old adage. It's not what you know, but who you know. Possibly all that more relevant in today's society.

I'll always remember my father saying "Never trust anyone who doesn't like animals". It's served me well so far.

but you can roll it in glitter

I have seen one dried, varnished and mounted on a plaque.

"There is no worse sight than watching ignorance in action"

QED these and similar forums, but RL fans is a strong contender for poll position, with several outstanding contributors.

Never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your penis.

Never play backgammon with a Greek or arm wrestle them.

So you'd happily put your penis in a tube of Pringles?

When I was 15 I did my school work experience at an Architecture firm, there was an old character called Will who was a typical old bloke of the office whom offered a lot of experience and wisdom to the younger Architects and technicians. One day we got on to the subject of under aged drinking and after much discussion about the evils of alcohol he turned to me and said;

"everything in life is good in moderation, except sex, do that as much as you can"

Probably the best advice I've ever had.

That explains a lot.

Does it really ?

Yes.

Ok, if you say so then it must be right.

Wise words.

I'm covered on this one as I wouldn't put my fingers in a tube of Pringles either.